Marriage is a journey, and like any journey, it’s filled with moments of clarity and moments of doubt. There are seasons when you and your spouse are perfectly aligned, moving forward together with purpose and passion. But there are also times when you might question if God is truly at the center of your marriage, especially when the road becomes tough and it feels like He’s gone silent.
“What do you do when the path ahead feels unclear, and your prayers for your marriage seem unanswered? How do you navigate those seasons when God’s voice feels distant, and you’re left wondering if you’re still moving in the right direction?
In those moments, it’s crucial to remember that God’s timing isn’t always immediate, but His presence is constant. Even in seasons of silence or struggle, He is still at work in your marriage, shaping both your hearts and your future together.”
Sandy and I have wrestled with these questions throughout our journey. Our marriage has faced many challenges, but through it all, we’ve seen God’s faithfulness—even when we couldn’t see it in the moment.
God’s Call on Marriage
From the very beginning of our relationship, Sandy and I believed that God brought us together for a specific purpose. We also believe that every marriage carries its own unique calling, and yours will look different from ours. While we didn’t know all the details, we were certain that God had a mission for our marriage. However, living out that mission hasn’t always been easy.
The first five years of our marriage were some of the hardest of our lives, largely due to my struggles with addiction. Those years were incredibly difficult for Sandy, and she had every reason to walk away. But instead of giving up, she stayed. She chose to love me with a love that went beyond human effort—it was a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
Sandy embodied every aspect of that scripture. Her love wasn’t about ignoring the struggles or pretending everything was okay. It was about demonstrating God’s unconditional love through her actions—even when it was incredibly hard.
Reckless Love in Marriage
Looking back, I see how Sandy’s love mirrored the reckless love of God—the kind of love that pursues us even at our lowest points. Her steadfastness wasn’t weakness; it was strength.
People often ask me, “How could she put up with so much?” But Sandy wasn’t just tolerating me—she was fighting for me, for us, and for the calling God had placed on our marriage. Her love became a channel for God’s healing in my life.
This kind of reckless love is what marriage requires. I even wrote an article called Reckless Love in Marriage. It’s not reckless in the sense of being careless or out of control, but reckless in its willingness to give everything, without holding back. It’s sacrificial, bold, and rooted in God’s Word.
If you want to bring this kind of love into your marriage, here are a few ways to start:
- Forgive Freely: Don’t keep a record of wrongs. Love covers offenses with grace.
- Love Boldly: Show your spouse love, even when they don’t deserve it. Bold love brings healing and closeness.
- Pursue Daily: Show your spouse they are your priority, even in small ways.
- Pray Together: Invite God into your marriage. Prayer deepens your unity and strengthens your bond.
- Serve Selflessly: Look for ways to meet your spouse’s needs without expecting anything in return. Serving with love reflects God’s heart.
Reckless love in marriage isn’t just a nice ideal—it’s the key to building a relationship that mirrors God’s love for us.
When Marriage Feels Stuck
Even when both of you are fully committed to the marriage, there will be seasons when it feels like you’re not growing together. Maybe communication becomes strained, or you sense a distance growing between you and your spouse—or even between you and God.
Sandy and I have experienced these seasons ourselves. There were times when we felt disconnected, especially during busy phases of raising kids and trying to figure out the marriage ministry calling God had placed on our lives. Balancing family, work, and ministry can feel overwhelming, and sometimes it feels like progress is stalled.
For us, the calling has always been clear: to love each other deeply, build a marriage that honors God, and share our story to encourage others. Even when the results didn’t match our expectations, we chose to trust that God was still at work, even behind the scenes, orchestrating things in ways we couldn’t yet see.
Trusting God’s Timing
Marriage is a journey, not a sprint. It’s not about finding quick solutions or expecting instant change. It’s about nurturing a relationship that can weather the highs and lows of life. God often uses seasons of waiting and uncertainty to strengthen your marriage and deepen your faith in ways you can’t yet understand.
Sandy and I have walked through times when we felt stuck—seasons where our marriage and ministry efforts seemed to yield no fruit. But we’ve learned that those times weren’t wasted. They were times when God was quietly at work in us, teaching us patience, refining our character, and preparing us for what was to come.
Consider David’s story. He was chosen and anointed to be king, but it took years before he actually stepped into that role. During those years, God was preparing him—shaping his heart and deepening his trust. In the same way, He is shaping your hearts as a couple, refining your love and faith to prepare you for what lies ahead.
Galatians 6:9 reminds us: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Seeing God’s Hand in Your Marriage
As Sandy and I look back on our journey, we see now how God was working in ways we couldn’t recognize at the time. Those early struggles—moments of doubt, distance, and difficulty—weren’t signs of His absence. They were opportunities for Him to demonstrate His power, refine our hearts, and pour out His grace.
The same is true for your marriage. Even when it feels like nothing is happening or everything is falling apart, God is still at work. He’s aligning circumstances, deepening your faith, and preparing you as a couple for the blessings and purpose He has planned.
If you’re in a tough season, here are some steps to help you navigate it:
- Reflect on God’s Faithfulness: Take time to remember how He’s guided and sustained you through past challenges. Gratitude for past victories strengthens your hope for the future.
- Lean on Scripture: Let God’s Word be your anchor. Passages like 1 Corinthians 13 remind us of what love should look like, and Galatians 6:9 encourages us to persevere in faith and love.
- Communicate Openly: Be open and honest with your spouse about your feelings, struggles, and dreams. Transparent conversations can bring clarity and strengthen your relationship.
- Seek Community: Surround yourselves with other faith-centered couples who can offer encouragement, prayer, and perspective. Community is vital for resilience in marriage.
- Stay Focused on the Vision: Revisit the calling God has placed on your marriage. Trust His timing, even when the path ahead feels unclear. Faithfulness during the waiting seasons prepares you for the fulfillment of His promises.
Through every season, trust that God is present and actively working in your marriage. He is using every moment—the joyful ones and the difficult ones—to strengthen your bond, refine your character, and lead you closer to the vision He has for your lives together.
Your Marriage Matters
Marriage is one of the greatest reflections of God’s love for His people. It’s a sacred covenant that requires patience, perseverance, and faith.
When God feels silent in your marriage, don’t give up. Keep loving recklessly. Keep trusting His timing. And keep moving forward in the calling He has placed on your marriage.
The waiting isn’t wasted. It’s in those quiet moments that God is doing His best work—preparing you for the harvest to come. Stay faithful, and trust that the best is yet to come.
Living a God-Inspired Marriage.
Chris Benton
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