As I sit and reflect on over 22 years that Sandy and I have spent together, I am still in awe of the deep connection we share. It’s a bond that’s been tested, stretched, and shaped by life’s ups and downs, but it’s stronger than ever. Our story has its fairytale moments, its nightmare twists, and the redemption that only God can bring. And I believe it’s a story that can inspire others to trust in God’s plan, no matter how rocky the journey may be.
A Fairytale Beginning
It feels like just yesterday that we met. It’s a story that sounds like something straight out of a Hallmark movie, one of those where everything falls into place perfectly. We met online on February 2, 2002. A few days later, we were talking on the phone, and not long after that, we set a wedding date before we even met in person! Yes, you read that right. Sixteen days after our first conversation, we chose to get married. Our wedding date was set for October 5, 2002, and we’d only spent about 20 days together in person, maybe less because I lived in Georgia and Sandy lived in Kentucky. But even from the very start, our connection was undeniable. I knew, deep in my heart, that we were meant to be together. It was as if everything I had been looking for in a partner had finally arrived.
We spent countless hours on the phone back then, talking late into the night. It wasn’t like today, when everyone has unlimited phone plans. Back then, every call came with a price tag. But we didn’t care. We were falling in love, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
It sounds like a fairytale, doesn’t it? And in many ways, it still is. But as we all know, no fairytale comes without its trials.
The Nightmare Phase
No one talks about the “middle” of the fairytale—the part where the dream takes a nosedive and you find yourself standing at the edge, unsure of how you’ll move forward. For us, that moment came just six months into our marriage. My mom passed away unexpectedly, and I was left devastated. I didn’t know how to process that loss. As a mama’s boy, the grief was overwhelming. In my hurt and confusion, I turned to my old habits—chatting, drinking, and drugging. Instead of finding solace in my new wife, I pushed her away.
At this point, our marriage was on the rocks. Sandy had every reason to walk away, but she chose to stay. And I know now that this was not by her own strength, but by God’s grace. She knew that there was more to me than the addiction I was battling, and she refused to give up on me. It wasn’t easy. I hurt her in ways I can’t even describe, especially when it came to my addiction to chatting, which was a secret I had never shared fully before. She saw the pattern of destruction repeating itself, and it terrified her.
But Sandy didn’t give up on me, even though most people would have. She didn’t understand the depths of my pain, but she leaned into God, prayed over me every night, and trusted that He could heal me. There were nights when I thought I was beyond saving, but she stood by me, even when I wasn’t the man she married.
Lesson 1: Even in the darkest moments, love rooted in faith can conquer fear.
The truth is, there were moments when Sandy didn’t know how to keep going, but she chose to lean on God, not her own understanding. Her strength came from Him, and not from her own power. There are times when our marriages may seem beyond repair, but it’s in those moments when we need to trust that God can transform what we think is beyond hope. Sandy’s faith in me and in God’s promises kept our marriage intact when everything seemed broken.
Scripture:
- “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
- “For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord.” – Jeremiah 30:17
The Moment of Surrender
Fast forward to December 26, 2007. That morning, I woke up realizing I had just gotten drunk on Christmas for the first time in my life. I was at the lowest point I’d ever been. I was ready to give up on everything, even my own life. But in that moment of utter despair, I heard God’s voice. He told me, “Give me 30 days, and I’ll heal you.”
Now, I’ll admit, I thought that was crazy. But desperation can make you do things you never thought you would, and I listened. I committed to giving God 30 days, and in that time, He began to heal me in ways I never could have imagined. After 30 days, I was free from my addiction. It wasn’t a quick fix, but a deep, lasting transformation. And since that day, I haven’t looked back.
What I didn’t understand back then that I do now, is that obedience to God’s whisper always precedes God’s miracles and those 30 days were my time of obedience.
Lesson 2: Trust God with your healing process, even when it doesn’t make sense.
Sometimes the road to healing seems illogical, and when God asks us to take a step of faith, it may feel foolish. But it’s in those moments of surrender where we experience the fullness of His grace. When I gave God those 30 days, I didn’t know what would happen but what I found was a life free of addiction and a heart restored.
Scripture:
- “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11
The Redemption and the Fairytale Ending
Sandy stuck by me through some of the darkest years of our marriage, and I know that the strength she had came from God. Society might have said she was weak for staying in a marriage that seemed doomed, but God saw her strength. He saw her unwavering faith and her refusal to give up on the man He had called me to be.
And now, as I look back, I see the fairytale unfolding before us. Yes, there were hard times. Yes, there were moments when we thought we might not make it. But those struggles have only deepened our connection and made us more grateful for what we have. Today, we are reaping the fruit of the years we’ve sown into our marriage.
Lesson 3: A marriage built on faith will withstand anything.
The storms we face in marriage only serve to strengthen the foundation of faith on which we stand. And while we might not always see the purpose in the struggle, God uses it to deepen our love and commitment to each other. In the end, it’s not just about holding on, it’s about growing together in faith, knowing that no challenge is too great when God is at the center.
Scripture:
- “Let your love be genuine. Hate what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” – Romans 12:9
- “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9
Living an Inspired Marriage
Our story is not just a fairytale. It’s a story of redemption, grace, and God’s unshakable love. We’ve walked through the fire, and by God’s mercy, we’ve come out stronger than ever. Our marriage continues to grow and thrive, and I am forever grateful for the woman God brought into my life.
If you’re in the midst of your own struggle, whether in your marriage or in life, don’t give up. Trust that God is working behind the scenes, even when it feels like everything is falling apart. He can turn your nightmare into a fairytale ending, just like He did for us.
Final Thought: The fairytale doesn’t end after the “happy ever after” it continues every day as we walk hand in hand, trusting in the One who is making all things new.
Living an inspired marriage is not about perfection. It’s about faith, perseverance, and the unyielding belief that, with God at the center, anything is possible.
With all my heart,
Chris Benton
I am co-founder of Inspired Marriage. I went through 19 years of addictions until God healed me Dec 26th, 2007. The first 5 years of our marriage was hell because of my addictions. With Sandy’s patience, I was able to allow God to work in me and we have been growing spiritually together ever since! Oct 5th, 2023 was 21 years of marriage and it’s been an inspired one!