Sandy Stayed While the World Would Have Left!

There were times when my wife wanted to leave in our first 5 years of marriage because she wasn’t sure if I would ever change. She was torn because she knew God wanted her to stay but felt like I was not going to change but she still loved me anyway.

She never snapped at me during those times. She just did what she needed to do while allowing God to work on my heart. Most women would have left but she stayed anyway. Now I did not physically abuse her and I did not cheat as those are two deal breakers but I did stretch things that I am not proud of.

As I look back, I can’t see that same guy even though it was me and even though I do remember some of the things that I did. She deserved so much better than what I was giving her. She deserved to be treated like a queen but I was treating her like dirt.

When I was sober she said I really wasn’t that bad. We still had a strong connection, but when I would drink or pop pills was when I become mean and just changed.

I am grateful that she found a way to give me the grace that I needed because we would not be together today if she would have seen me through the world’s eyes. She saw me through the eyes of God and that made all of the difference.

She was not naive like many people would say. She had a belief that God was going to change my heart and she stood on that belief even when it did not look possible. Yes, there were times that she thought about leaving. She was close a few times but she made the choice to stay and keep the Faith that God was in control and he was going to change my heart.

I don’t know how she did it but I am glad she did. I have my lifetime of making up everything to her and treating her like the special woman she is because she is who God brought to me. How can I in my right mind treat her bad when God sent her my way? With how we met and married and a few things that happened at the beginning, there is no doubt we were supposed to be together and Sandy held on to that.

As she and I talk about the past from time to time, she does open up with me about how she felt because she is not comfortable with leaning on me again like she did at the very beginning of our marriage.

We have been married now for over 14 years and the first 6 months was not bad at all but that is when my mom passed away and my mind went in other directions. I fought my thoughts until Dec. 26th, 2007 so hard and I lost every time because I was trying to handle my mom’s passing without God.

I just didn’t understand how he could take her. From that point, I felt my heart hardened and I just didn’t care. I went back to what I knew best and that was chatting with women, drugs and alcohol. All of my life that is where I would turn. It was all I knew and instead of leaning on God and Sandy, I turned away.

When we tell our story at churches and conferences, people won’t be able to believe it especially the ones that know how strong we are today. I will pull Sandy up on stage in the middle of my testimony to ask her a few questions that will be built on how she felt and how she stayed because I want other people in the same situations to see how things can change. I also want others that are struggling with addictions to see what they are really doing.

I think we have something powerful to say and the day will come when God opens that door. Our marriage is a testimony on how God can swoop in and change everything. We are literally night and day from where we were versus where we are.

When I wrote out a part of my story, Sandy was reading it and learning about some of the reasons why I have been the way I am. This has also helped her to see why my addictions were so hard to beat. Finally, with God’s help, I walked away from them over 9 years ago!

Sandy is a special woman that honored God so much at times when the world would have told her to leave and now she is reaping what she has sown. The marriage we have today is everything to the both of us. I am so grateful that she was there for me even when I could not. Now I can be there for her for the rest of her life!

Living an Inspired Marriage,