Marriage is NOT just about finding the right person, but also about becoming the right person. #GrowthMatters
On a scale of 1-10, this is a 100! Yes I believe marriage growth is that important. The intimacy of your marriage hinges on the growth of your marriage. Many people believe you get married and there is not much work from that point but that’s 100% false.
The real work begins the day you say I do. Yes there is work before too as you want to find the right man or woman who God wants you to marry but the work starts at I do!
A lot of people believe in personal growth and I do too but here is where I differ than most. If you put in 1 hour of personal growth a day then I believe that you should also put 1 hour of marriage growth too each day. If you have to cut personal growth to 30 minutes in order to do that then that is fine but having a 50/50 split builds a balance in your marriage and I will explain why a little further down.
Sandy and I do 75% marriage growth and 25% personal growth but we also understand our marriage is starting to become our career through our ministry so that makes it a little different but I still believe at least a 50/50 split and here’s why.
Personal growth teaches you how to be alone and happy basically and marriage growth teaches you how to be happy together. See the difference? One is more selfish and the other is more selfless. One says “I” and the other says “We”.
From what i see out there, the more a personal focuses on personal growth, the more independent they become. The more independent one comes in marriage, the lower the intimacy goes because marriage is not about being independence even though people say you need to be but it’s more about being interdependent and there is a HUGE difference.
Independence says, I can do this without you, I don’t really need you. Interdependence says, I may be able to do this without you but not only do I not want to do it without you but I choose not to. See the difference? Huge difference. It is an attitude difference but that attitude makes all the difference.
So how do you have a great marriage? Great marriages have couples who believe in marriage growth above personal growth, above public opinions and above anything that may threaten their marriage. Their marriage is everything to them and comes before everything with the exception of God. They understand couples that grow together, stay together. Without growth, the marriage eventually falls apart.
The sad part is, many couples think they can live like they are single and just play marriage. God sees it different. Either you are all in with your marriage or you should not be getting married as marriage isn’t for you. Marriage isn’t for the faint of heart either because you will have to sacrifice.
You will have times that you wonder why God brought the two of you together. There will be times when you may question everything but keep in mind that God brought your spouse to you in one way or the other. If you keep that in mind it will help you get through rough times when they happen.
But most times when you have built that solid foundation in marriage, it will be a very peaceful and joyous time in your life. God wants your marriage to be an inspired one because when you have that kind of passion towards each other, then Christ’s shining light can shine through your marriage.
Living an Inspired Marriage,
Chris Benton
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