This has been a 6 post journey. WOW is all I can say to this. When I started out on part 1 with the topic I had no idea where it was going. The article was going to be called A family destroyer – Sexual Sin. Now we are wrapping this up at part 6. It was only going to be the one part but God nudged me through it all.
I wasn’t even sure if I was going to do a part 6 but I guess I wanted to do a wrap on on everything. God has shown me a lot through family destroyers. I guess it’s like teaching, when you write you also learn because I have learned a ton.
When I look back at all the parts I think I ordered it perfectly without realizing it. We ended with what usually starts the downfall of a family which is attitude. If you think about it, your attitude usually changes first. Then one or both sides become addicted to something whether it is drinking or attention but it comes after the attitude change.
After that comes the time thing. They start pulling away from the family because of the addictions. Then comes the love of money. Since they now have pulled away from the family they try to fill that void with material things and it works for a short time.
After all that has happened then usually they fall sexually. I am not saying this is the exact order every time but if you look at a lot of people who fall sexually, this is the order that happens a lot. I would have never realized that if God didn’t lead me on this journey.
Yes I always knew that people fall because they feel something is missing but never knew the order until now. It is amazing how God can lead you on a journey and you don’t even realize it until you look back.
These 5 issues (Sex, Money, Time, Addictions & Attitude) say so much. Through those 5 issues you have most of the families who have been destroyed. When I look at the families I know that were destroyed, they all fall within those 5 categories. Granted a lot fall within all 5 of those areas.
So what do you do? What do you do to protect your family from these 5 destroyers?
1) Stay in the word. You can’t do a lot of protecting your family from satan if you don’t stay in the word daily. Yes we can stay away from these and not be in the word but our flesh will eventually give in and then we lose everything.
2) Stay committed. No matter what is happening in your life stay committed to each other and stay committed to your family. Many people don’t get their way so they lose that commitment. Building a solid family on a Christian foundation takes a lot of work. You have to be willing to work at it for the rest of your life.
3) Stay out of debt. Staying out of debt is easier said than done. I know this but for our family’s sake we have to do this. We have to live in such a way that our debt never controls our actions. Many people have to make decisions based on their debt. We aren’t supposed to live that way.
4) Control your attitude. This one is actually easier than most people think. Your attitude is formed by the books you read, the people you associate with and the events you attend. If your attitude needs work then work on those 3 areas.
5) Don’t overwork. Here is one that many people just don’t believe. We are all so overworked that it isn’t even funny anymore. Your time is precious with your family and if you overwork yourself then what do you have left for your family? Your work gets the best of you then your family gets all the leftovers and that is a recipe for a disaster.
6) Don’t confide in the opposite sex. Here is another one that a lot of people fail on. They have friendships of the opposite sex so they decide that they are going to lean on them when things get tough and ask for their advice. DON’T DO IT! You are asking for a disaster to happen. When two people share emotions they always get deeper in their friendship. When you get deeper with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse, you automatically lose a little bit from your spouse. We are all vulnerable of this. Just don’t do it from the beginning.
7) Be with your family. Many people think that they are with their family but in reality they aren’t. Either they have too many hobbies that pull them away from their family or they are at home with them but have tuned them out. Just because you are with them physically doesn’t mean that you are there with them mentally and emotionally. If your mind is on everything but them then in fact you have tuned them out.
8) Don’t cover your emotions. Don’t allow any kind of addiction to cover your true emotions. If you are angry then find out why you are angry. If you are always sad, don’t cover it up. Find out why you are sad. There are reasons behind every emotion. You have to do some soul searching to figure out why you have that emotion.
9) Take Action. Keeping a marriage strong takes work. Nothing is wrong with that. It is a good kind of work when you look at it as God has Blessed you with an awesome spouse and family. Take action to change what you need to change. Don’t just put it off until tomorrow do it NOW.
10) Keep your family Christ-Centered. This is so important to having a strong marriage and family. Keeping it Christ-Centered is way more than just going to church each week. It is more in how you live each day. Anyone can be a Christian on Sunday but can you be that from Monday through Saturday also? There are many Sunday Christians and God sees this as being lukewarm. Don’t be that way. Keep your family Christ-Centered on a daily basis.
I have always said when you have a husband and wife both pursuing God together on a daily basis, nothing can stop this couple from flourishing. The key to this is together and daily. Without doing it, both together and daily you run into trouble because even just a little slack can cause satan to get his toe in the door of your family.
You have to stay strong and even when you don’t feel strong God can be your strength. You just have to lean on him. Keeping God within your marriage and family changes everything.
I hope you have enjoyed reading all 6 parts to Family Destroyers just as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I hope and pray that this Blesses your life so that you can keep your family strong and you can stay strong even when others around you become weak.
Ask God to give you the wisdom to take what you have read and apply it to your life. Ask him to show you the areas of life you need to work on and then work on them. Ask him to give you the strength to flee from anything that could hinder your family. Ask him to heal your heart so that you can be a complete you for your marriage and family.
Living an Inspired Marriage,
Chris Benton
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