Both of You Should Write Out Your Story

Here is some advice I just gave a friend on marriage who is not married yet but wanting to. Whether you are married or not, I would give this advice to anyone so i felt like I should post my response here too.

“I am about to save you years of heartache from communication problems if you and her are willing to do this. Both of you over the next few months sit down and write our your whole life story like you are going to put it in a book. Make a goal of 50,000 words. The reason for so many words is so that you will write everything even the ugly moments in your life too. Write from your childhood on. This wont take you as long as you think because once you get to typing, you already know your story and it will come naturally. I wrote for 1-2 hours a day and did 50,000 words in 30 days.

Here is what that did for me. I was able to dig deep into my past and found so many ah ha moments that changed how I saw where I am today. I was able to connect many dots that showed me this led to that and that led to this and so forth. it really helped me see why my personality was shaped and why I do the things that i do.

Here is why you both should do this, many of your future arguments will not be because of the current circumstances but you will be fighting from your past experiences.

By writing all this out and both of you sharing your past in a deep but transparent way, this will help both of you communicate in a way that will change everything. You will be able to help each other with weak areas. You can be strong when shes weak and she can be strong when you are weak.

We are writing a book called “Broken Together” which the foundation of the book is all of this, how your past affects the way you communicate in marriage.”

Sandy and I believe if you both write out your story, you will grow as a couple and learn so much about each other that will help in your communication. Yes there is more to communication than this but this will go along ways to helping you both!

Living an Inspired Marriage,

Chris Benton

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Chris Benton

I am co-founder of Inspired Marriage. I went through 19 years of addictions until God healed me Dec 26th, 2007. The first 5 years of our marriage was hell because of my addictions. With Sandy's patience, I was able to allow God to work in me and we have been growing spiritually together ever since! Oct 5th, 2023 was 21 years of marriage and it's been an inspired one!