I have watched many threads on facebook lately go crazy over the issue of Addictions is not a disease. You have people arguing back and forth on whether it is or not but I want to ask a simple question, does it really matter? You may be wonder why this is on a marriage blog but because this affects so many marriages, I felt the need to write this here.
You see, I went through 19 years of addictions until God healed me from them over 10 years ago. People say people who have addictions are just too weak. You know what, when I was too weak to overcome addictions, God didn’t give me the strength to overcome them but he delivered me from them! There is no way I could put it. He took that desire completely away from me.
When people say addictions are just a choice and all you have to do is quit, you have just taken the testimony away from God. There are people like me who know without a doubt that God healed me from addictions but you saying that its just a choice takes the power of God from my life because if I could just stop then that means God had nothing to do with me healing. I did that all on my own. But the only problem is, I know the difference I was before God healed me and after. My amazing wife went through hell our first 5 years of marriage because of those addictions. She has a testimony of strength just from enduring those 5 years.
If people would say it only starts as a choice, I can buy into that because that is really true. There are many reasons people start and almost every reason that people start, you have others judging them because they never had addictions. Also when you say it’s just a choice and all you have to do is quit, you actually help the person addicted get stronger in their addictions. Because they know they can’t beat them alone and you are saying how easy it is, it makes them want to give up even trying. It also makes them want to overcome them alone because they know how people look down on them and alone is usually a pathway to become more addicted.
Yes when I was 17, I had a choice not to take that first drink. Yes I had a choice to just say no. Just because I was molested at 14 and then a dream stolen from me at 17 doesn’t mean I had to say yes to my first time getting drunk. I also didn’t have to say yes to the next time and so on but thats that even matter once the addiction takes place? OK you are right, it was a choice, are you happy NOW? Can your pride handle that? Can you finally overcome being the prodigal son’s brother? That is right, you have just become his brother!
Do you believe me? I am sure you don’t but think about this, what did the brother do? Was he not mad at everyone accepted the fact that his brother came back? There he was doing everything the right way the whole time his brother was doing everything the wrong way but when the prodigal son came running back home, the brother was jealous because he never strayed. he never did anything wrong but yet everyone is treating his brother like he never left.
That is exactly what you are doing. You want so bad to make it a point that not only is it not a disease but you want to make it clear that you never chose to do that therefore it is only a choice. You do a great job at rubbing it in people’s faces that you was above them because you chose not to go that route and they did.
Everyone of us at some point has been the Prodigal son but if we are not careful we can become his brother!
I am not here to blast you but help you understand that although you may be right on the surface that addictions is a choice, it just only starts as a choice. I was there, I know. I destroyed lives because of it. I took people for granted because I had to have that next drink. I took my amazing wife for granted because I had my own issues that i was trying to mask over.
When you become so broken in life that you just want to mask everything, addictions is only one step away. Don’t come back saying well everyone like you goes through crap and you didn’t do all that, you just became the prodigal son’s brother again!
I am not saying it’s a disease. I really don’t know. I do know it can be fought and won over because I did it. I have no doubt that God healed me completely from it. I would go everyday craving the next drink or the next high but after the healing, I have not craved a high in over 10 years now.
Dec 26th, 2007 was my last time drinking and it will be the last time my entire life because I have zero desire for it. It doesn’t turn me on like it did before God healed me. God can heal you. I can’t promise he will heal you. All I know is obedience to God’s whisper leads to God’s miracles. Miracles only come after authentic obedience. Maybe God needs you to go to AA or Celebrate Recovery and then he heals you, I don’t know. That’s between you and God. You two have to discuss that together and yes I believe we can talk to God and he will hear if we are authentic.
We all have things in our life that we have some form of addiction too. Coffee is a big one. if you are slamming people who are addicted to drugs and you have to have that cup of Joe every morning, you may want to start looking in the mirror because caffeine is also a drug whether you realize it or not. It does have some health benefits in moderation but even coffee can be done too much.
I will leave you with this, I believe addictions of any kind are a problem because many choices people make leads to chains they can’t break alone. Thank God we have the master chain breaker in Jesus Christ. Lean to him if you have those chains wrapped around you. Do that before you have so many chains that you have trapped you into your own prison.
I could tell so many stories of those 19 years of addictions and at some point when Sandy and I are on stage telling our story, some of those will come out. I have had my share of brokenness, I am just glad that God is the healing power of brokenness. he is the one pours love into the broken heart to seal it back together!
Between his power and my awesome Sandy’s love, I was able to start the healing process over 10 years ago, to live and tell about it. I always promised God that if he healed me I would use every platform to tell the story and thats exactly what I do.
I will end with a statement I said earlier, When I was too weak to overcome addictions, God came in not to give me strength but to deliver me from them!
Living an Inspired Marriage,
Chris Benton
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